Q: If your wife filed divorce against you, why don’t you just let her go?
A: If it was just my wife and me, I would have immediately jumped back on a plane to Australia and wished Maggie the best of luck believing the adulterous relationship would fail. But Paige had nobody. She was isolated and miserable with a mother that had zero concern for her cries for help. Even Paige told me to go back and make a place for “us”. But in every phone conversation I could tell Paige was getting worse. I could not abandon her.
I also was under the guide of the Holy Spirit. There were many days I would have to just sit back and watch things happen and just take it in the chin. And I believe this was a time of testing and spiritual growth for me learning to wait on God. I think too many times when we don’t see action we are quick to “make” things happen. In the end, because we don’t wait on the Lord, we make a situation worse and not what God intended.
Q: You are crazy. I don’t believe you. Surely it wasn’t as bad as how you’ve described?
A: Yeah I get a lot of that. Few people have a hard time grasping all the details, and what I find is that for most people it’s such an overwhelming story they tune out and move on to something else. The tough part in writing all this is I have what I call an “episodic memory”. I’ve pretty much had it all my life. I cannot tell you what has to be so special about an event that I would remember things to such detail. But for me to have written all this I literally had to re-experience everything all over again putting myself in the moment. It’s like a movie that plays in my head and I just describe what I see. So it’s fair to try and doubt me, but the truth is I omitted even more detail because it just didn’t help the story.
Q: If that was my wife I would just forget about her and move on. I think you’re nuts to write about this.
A: Who is your best friend? If you saw that person in trouble… and I’m talking real trouble, would you quit? Would you cut tail and run? I’ve always said the true measure of one’s character is what you do when the times get tough. Despite any differences Maggie and I ever had, she was my best friend in the world that I would go to the ends of the earth for. She was my wife.. my bride. And what drives me now is a knowing that I may be the only one praying for her, but if I’m not, who is? I don’t have enemies, but I wouldn’t wish an eternity of hell on anyone. But the Bible is clear in 1 Corinthians 6:9 that without repentance the adulterers will not inherit the kingdom of God. It’s not a judgement, but recognition of God’s Word.
Q: Are you mad at God? Maybe this was God paying you back for something you did.
A: I actually was asked this a few times going through this and afterwards. The answer is a resounding “NO!” God did not do this. We all have free will to make choices. And we also have an enemy playing mind games. Joyce Meyers calls it “The Battlefield of the Mind”, and she’s right. We allow that little voice remind us of past hurts and then make decisions most of the time on emotions. I’m reminded of Job 2:9-10
9 His wife said to him, “Are you still maintaining your integrity? Curse God and die!”
10 He replied, “You are talking like a foolish woman. Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?”
In all this, Job did not sin in what he said.
Job knew better. I can’t say I always understood or agreed with God, but that’s also me being human and not seeing the bigger picture. My battle is against the principalities and powers of darkness… not against Maggie and certainly not against God.